Quileute Karaoke
by Becca962
Summary: Emmet has the brilliant idea to bring the pack a karaoke machine. With Mamma Mia, High School Musical, Shakira, and Gwen Stefani, it's sure to be a great time! Very funny!
1. Karaoke

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not own Twilight, Mamma Mia, and Rich Girl, High School Musical, or anything else I use gratefully.

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**I'm Baaaaack! I have once again started to write! To anyone who's reading this because I'm on author alert, thanks. I know I haven't written in ages, and I'm sorry. I do have excuses, but I'm sure no one needs to read my moping about school and crappy computers. Thanks so much to my super fast, amazing beta SheWolfx3.**

**I thought of this story, like many of my others, while listening to iPod shuffle. I hope it's funny. Enjoy…**

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EMPOV

People keep telling me I am easy to amuse. I don't understand this: if I am easy to amuse, then why am I bored all the time?

I will admit that shiny things, random facts and coincidences amuse me. But the 'amusement' doesn't last more than three seconds. Considering I'll be around longer than that, I'll need more.

I thought of a plan. It was brilliant: not only would I be amused now, but I would be amused for years to come. Those dogs were in for the best night of their lives.

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JPOV

I was out running with Quil and Embry when I heard him coming. Vampires might be graceful, but Emmet was another type of vampire. We could hear him from a mile away; we didn't need the stench to recognize him. I quickly signaled the guys to phase and put on some clothes before he showed up. He probably wanted to talk to us.

"Hello doggies!" He shouted as he burst into the clearing where we were waiting.

"Hello Emmet." I said ever so kindly "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

It was then when I noticed that he was holding a large shopping bag.

"What's in the bag?" Quil asked cautiously.

He started to back away slowly as if he had read my mind. Ever since Emmet had brought some freaky penguin thing to see us, we were careful about anything he brought.

"It's not dangerous." He replied "Just go gather your little posse and meet me at the biggest house with a TV."

I still don't know why we obeyed, but we did. Quil went and got Seth and Leah; Embry got Paul, Sam, and Jared. We were going to get the other guys, but none of the houses were that big.

We met at Seth's house. He had the best TV. Once we were all there, Emmet took something out of the bag. It was a hot pink Karaoke Machine.

"Sweet!" Seth jumped up and grabbed one of the CDs it came with "I got dibs on High School Musical!"

"You can have it." Paul mumbled while getting up from his chair "I'm out of here."

"No you're not." Sam glared at him "If I have to stay, so do you."

"You don't have to stay," Paul argued "We can both leave and pretend this never happened."

"We're staying." Sam said firmly. Paul sat back down, looking pissed.

"Now that that's all cleared up," Emmet jumped up cheerfully "We need teams. There are eight of you and we need two teams of four. I will leave that up to you guys. When you figure out you teams, I'll set up the machine."

We quickly teamed up: I was with Seth, Quil and Embry. Jared, Paul, Sam, and Leah were on the other team. None of us could really sing, so it was fair.

"Thanks for the cooperation." Emmet said, starting to sound like an annoying game show host "We will now begin the Quileute Karaoke Challenge!"

He set up the machine, turned on the TV and entered our teams and names. When he was done, a terrible screech came from the machine as it wheezed to life.

"Team one: Seth. Team two: Paul." The machine crackled. They stepped up and grabbed microphones. The songs all shuffled and a duet came up. Seth sang the first part.

_"We're soarin' flyin' There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach!"_

_"If we're trying, so we're breaking free."_ Paul bellowed out. We all stared in amazement. Paul could sing, and he could sing High School Musical better than the actors.

They finished the song and we all sat there in dead silence for a couple seconds before applauding very hard. Seth did great, but Paul had the voice of an angel. He obviously got the point for that one.

"Team one: Quail. Team two: Sam."

"Who's quail?" Quil asked

"He's an old machine, cut him some slack." Emmet answered

"He?"

"Him?"

Paul and I asked.

"Just hurry up and sing; the song is starting!" Emmet pointed at the TV where Abba's Dancing Queen was starting

Quil started :

_"Friday night and the lights are low,"_

_"Looking out for a place to go"_

_"Where they play the right music"_

_"Getting in the swing"_

_"You come to look for a king."_

_"Anybody could be that guy"_

_"Night is young and the music's high"_

_"With a bit of rock music"_

_"Everything is fine"_

_"You're in the mood for a dance"_

_"And when you get the chance"_

They burst out the lyrics together

_"YOU ARE A DANCING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET, ONLY SEVENTEEEEEEN."_

Once the song finished, Quil won. We spent another hour doing competitions with different teams, songs, and score systems before we did an individual competition. It was down to Paul, Leah, and me.

Paul went first; the song he got was Thriller. He knew he could not hit those notes, so he shuffled. To everyone's delight, he got Hips Don't Lie. It was pretty amazing. The song started dull and unenthusiastic, then it took an awesome turn.

_"Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad. So be wise, and keep on reading the signs of my body."_ He even did the hip shaking. Everyone cheered. As he was thrashing around, I looked back at Emmett. He was holding a small video camera. He just smiled and signaled that I should turn around. That was the creepiest smile I had ever seen.

I turned without questioning or doubting if that was a good idea. Next was my turn.

"You cannot defeat that." Seth encouraged me "Unless you can shake those tiny hips faster or harder."

"Just shut up now Seth." Leah commanded "Just, no."

As the machine screeched out my name, it started playing P!nk. I rocked out to So What.

"That performance was moving." Embry commented.

"Yeah," Quil agreed "I almost moved over to the kitchen to grab earplugs."

"And I did move away from the speakers." Jared added

As I walked by to get to my seat, I smacked their little fist bump.

"Rude." Embry stuck his tongue out

I stuck mine out back at him.

"Real mature guys." Leah sneered as she walked up to the mic. She smacked us both upside the head.

"Rude." We both sulked.

Her song started. Gwen Stefani, Rich Girl.

_"Na na na na na na na na na na na na. If I was a rich girl (na, na....)_

_See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl_

_No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end_

_Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl"_

She finished the song with a flourish. It was pretty amazing.

"Isn't that song so catchy?" Emmet said while dancing with no one but his camera. He turned around, did a little ballet twist, and then gracefully moon walked to his machine and walked away. He closed the door behind him and disappeared.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked nobody in particular

"We will never know." Seth responded with a grave look on his face. Sam tripped on him on his way to the kitchen.

"I would say that was a waste of two hours," Jared laughed "But seeing Paul shake his hips and hearing Leah sing the girliest song known to mankind, kinda made my life."

We all left to go the bonfire. Most people were humming some strange song; Seth was practically singing Dancing Queen. Emmet was still gone, with video proof of everything.

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**Thanks for reading. This was so much fun to write. I have many many many more ideas and I really want them to be amazing. **

**Please review with any suggestions or comments. You can also follow me on twitter using the link on my profile. There will be an epilogue. I appreciate anything!**


	2. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

**Thanks so much for reading this. It was going to be a different story, but it just fit together to darn well****. I hope you laugh as much as I did planning this with my best friend mrs. lautner 578. Another huge thanks to my beta SheWolfx3.**

**Note: If you don't know what Gwen Stefani looks like, go look at a picture. It will make one part much more funny.**

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**SPOV**

I ran to the bonfire. I had gone home to get something to eat and was running late.

I stumbled in just as Jacob's dad was starting to speak.

"Thank you for gracing us with your presence." My mother said with a glare

I just sat down. It was really better not to answer her when she was in one of her moods. Embry was sitting next to me.

"What took you so long?" he whispered so mom couldn't hear "We all got here on time."

"I was hungry." I whispered back. Sam glared at me. He was such an annoying grown up sometimes. He was only a little older than the rest of us, but as soon as he got near the elders, he went all mature.

"Nice dude." Embry just looked at me "You couldn't wait?"

"I was very, very, very hungry." I said with emphasizing the _very's_

Sam glared at us again and shushed us.

"Did he just shush me?" Embry asked. I could tell he hadn't like it "He's not even my alpha. He cannot shush me. I won't even let Jake shush me. Ugh!"

We shut up then. I knew it would be best not to argue with Embry or Sam and just let then have their ways. I only choose a battle when I know I can win it.

About half way into one of the stories, Embry turned and looked at me. He had an extremely annoyed look on his face.

"Dude, why are you humming Rich Girl"?" He asked

I had it stuck in my head, but hadn't realized that I was actually making noise.

In my mind, there was an odd Leah-Gwen singing: she had Leah's skin color, eyes and mouth, but Gwen's hair, nose, and legs. The rest was blurred and somewhat manly. I didn't realize how messed up that image really was.

I had just gotten to the part where Gwen, or Leah, was really rocking the refrain.

I tried to shut up, but then it was _really_ stuck in my head. I felt the energy running through me. I was about to burst out singing, from the beginning, when I heard a small noise from the other side of the fire.

"_Na na na na na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na na na na."_

I looked over, and saw that it was Quil Sr. He started humming with me in perfect synch. We quietly sang together making eye contact.

"_If I was a rich girl, na na na na na na na na na na na na na na , I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl. No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end, Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl."_

Sam looked at us, and turned his head. He would never doubt of Quil Sr.

We moved on to the next part. My mom was talking and Billy, Jake, Leah, Quil, and Embry had joined us.

"_Think what that money could bring, I'd buy everything"_

We kept going for most of the song. Eventually, we all stood up and bellowed out the rest of the song. People had been steadily joining.

"_If I was rich girl (na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na nah). See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl. No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end  
Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl"_

Quil Sr. jumped up on a picnic table and started shaking his hips.

"_Na na na na na na na!"_

He jumped off and kept dancing, his head was bobbing. He was also twitching, and shaking in ways that old men shouldn't. Then it got worse.

"Uh huh, uh huh, work it baby, work it!" He kept dancing, even though no one was singing anymore.

There was dead silent and he switched songs.

"_Everybody makes mistakes  
Everybody has those days  
Everybody knows what, what' I'm talkin' 'bout  
Everybody gets that way"_

He was dancing on the table again, and was just about to start the refrain when Quil jumped on the table.

"Please dad get down, it's over." He begged him

"I ain't done yet! Let me have my fun!" He pushed him and continued dancing.

Quil just sat on the floor looking at him. After a while, he got up and started walking home. Everyone had left. We all went home.

As I got further and further, I kept looking back at Quil Sr. He was still dancing. Leah looked at me.

"Old people are so cool." She said

"What about mom?" I asked

"Good point, old men are so cool."

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**Please review. I am totally okay if you review saying you hate it, just tell me why. Tell me any opinion. I would love any ideas about how to get better, story ideas, or general praise. Thanks for reading!**


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